Gurian Humor, Georgian Homophobia and Emigration to Belgium
“I am Erekle Abashmadze, 35 years old. I am an artist, queer and currently exiled in Belgium, but very happy and free”, – this is how one of the most noisy spaces in Brussels, Erekle came to meet us near the so-called Gay Street. He begins his introduction, as well as telling stories from his childhood, with laughter and his characteristic humor. At the same time, here and there he interacts with the locals and tourists on the street, without breaking the line of his grandmother’s story with us. He tells us jokes about homophobic and stereotypical attitudes, which may surprise you at first, but soon you will discover that Erekle considers the Georgian reality to be such a tragicomedy.
To give you a better idea, this is a portrait of a guy who wrote a poem to a dead cow, gave a birthday party to a rock star, cooked dinner with potatoes thrown by homophobes, and wrote, taught, and fought at the same time.
Cake for Kurt Cobain
“My childhood, compared to other children, was very happy. Because I grew up in a very warm family, with a mother who was a very good woman, conscious, modern. My friends always said that “Tamara is Rock’n Roll queen”. All the friends who had some problem went to my mother. It made me very happy”, says Erekle and recalls many stories about how her mother stood by her side.
Two more women played an important role in his life: his sister and grandmother. When talking about his childhood, he singles out stories related to his grandmother and grandfather.
“I studied the last 3 years of school in Guria. These were the happiest years of my life, because my grandmother was the most noble creature on earth. Even before that, I was very happy about the arrival of summer. When I arrived, he would greet me with roses she had picked. I loved hearing her news.
Besides, somehow, I don’t know if my grandmother had a premonition or something… she always told me that you are not like others and be who you are.”
He wrote his first poem as a child to his grandmother, but not to her, but to her dead cow:
“Grandma’s cow died and she suffered a lot, because if a cow dies for a Gurian woman, it is a tragedy. I wrote a poem about this cow to alleviate it and introduced it to the whole village, I am growing up a poet boy. Looking back, I love this moment very much.
My grandmother kept this poem with her recipes. My mother and I turned the house over and couldn’t find it.”
Tamuna Gegidze / Aprili Media
Erekle’s teenage years were quite noisy and controversial. His self-expression, style of dress and taste in music became the target of criticism from teachers, relatives and the neighborhood, but her mother and grandmother remained supportive until the end.
“I had long hair, wore rock band t-shirts, ripped collars and was in trouble in society. Sometimes what they called me, what label they attached to me, satanist, this and that, cat killer… The main happiness was that my mother always supported me in the background. She fought for me not to get depressed or feel intimidated and that made me stronger.
The school was one of the biggest bullying machines. Unfortunately, at that time, there was no such media to tell about it out loud, or if you did, you would have been kicked out here. In my case, the teachers stood out more than my peers, because they were afraid of me and did not enter into communication, because they thought that I was a Satanist, a murderer of men and animals, and the teachers stirred and invented this.”
We asked Erekle where the accusation of Satanism came from, and as expected in the 90’s reality, the reason was ripped jeans, accessorizing chains and listening to rock music.
Tamuna Gegidze / Aprili Media
“I will never forget one fact. Back then there were cassette players and I listened to them at school during recess. The teacher pulled me out and heard. He listens to bloody music, she told the whole school. But I was listening to the Beatles, who sing about love,” he recalls with a laugh and says that it didn’t scare him and made him more stubborn, especially after seeing the barely-earned Placebo poster, the teacher accused him of “propaganda of homosexuality” to the principal.
Erekle jokingly explains why such an attitude did not stress him out, citing the support of his mother and grandmother as the reason. What do you think might have been the support of a guru grandmother to her grandson who listened to rock and was being gossiped about? – Accepting and respecting the interests of the grandson and his surroundings despite the fact that he did not like them at all.
“I always celebrated Kurt Cobain’s birthday. Although my grandmother couldn’t stand it and cursed her, because she thought it was too much for me, she baked a cake on Kurt Cobain’s birthday, which she wrote “Kurt” in Georgian, and it was the happiest day of my childhood.
Blessed “Posters”
Men in the family did not play such a positive role in Erekle’s life. He says that he has only negative emotions and stories about them. He does not have a relationship with his father, and although he was young, when his parents separated, he was happy because his father was aggressive. He says that his personality is unacceptable to both his father and uncles, because he was never the typical boy who drank toasts or hunted.
Tamuna Gegidze / Aprili Media
“I have two uncles in Guria, one of them is aggressive and he forbade me to go to Guria with earrings and long hair, although I still went because my grandmother was alive and I had her support. Leave him alone, he’s a rocker, she used to say.”
He did not like the interference of his relatives in his life, his stereotypical views annoyed him, although he did not perceive it as a serious problem, and to explain the reason for this, he laughingly tells us another story.
“Once they sent me a priest. I was sick, I had a problem with my lungs, and for some reason they assumed that the reason was that I was listening to this music, I was dressed like this, I was wearing earrings. I remember that the priest did not repent and holy water was poured on the posters in my room. Kurt Cobain and others were blessed.
I was laughing at the time, but it can affect a person as a stress, because they bring a priest to you, as if you are some kind of wretched person, and they lead you to the prayer of an almost posessed person”.
He says that he came up with these stories during an interview in Belgium, which amused the interpreter and surprised the embassy employee.
Potatoes of a Homophobe
He encountered stereotypical approaches not only in Guria, but in the capital as well. In a few years, the style changed, but wide pants, ribbons, flowers and a hippy aura were not acceptable to the conservative society.
“I don’t understand why these clothes should make you aggressive. You are colorful, you enjoy life”, says Erekle and continues the story like this: “My friends and I were students, he lived alone at home. His mother used to send food from Kakheti and we were waiting for the so-called Pasilka near the Samgori metro station. The parcel did not arrive and the people at the market threw potatoes at us because of our clothes.
This friend of mine was saying, “We don’t have food at home” and was picking these potatoes. We laughed that day, homophobes gave us food. Some kind of radicalism and tragicomedy is happening in Georgia”, he laughs.
“Steven”
He started figuring out his identity at the age of 17-18, when he was finishing school. He was afraid at first due to lack of information.
“At that time, the terms LGBT and gay did not exist, nor bisexual, lesbian. There was Stephen. If you remember, there was a TV series, there was a gay boy named Steven. It was my understanding that if you were gay, you were automatically Steven. I didn’t have any information and it was associated with aliens in society”.
He says that he was lucky and soon found friends with whom he could express himself, but he was afraid of coming out publicly, because 10 years ago the situation was worse than it is now. It was not difficult for him to talk about his identity with his mother, because he received support from her until he told her.
“My friend did the coming out with my mother, because it was very difficult for her. My mom reassured me that this is not a stranger to me, I love you, I will accept you, you are my son too, because you are my son’s best friend and this story revolves around my son and it is accepted by me… I was listening to this from the next room and I was the happiest in that moment “.
He didn’t talk to his grandmother, but he is sure that she understood: “She always advised us to live the way you want and added: “have fun, but not as much as Tamuna does”. Tamuna was one of our friends, about whom my grandmother had hysterics. She also knew my gay friends. At first, she would panic if someone stood out with their visuals, but then she would make them khachapuri”.
Without speaking or explaining, he also felt support from his sister, whom he describes as “almost Gen Z” who is progressive, warm and guarding against rumors: “Whenever she heard some amazing rumor about me from relatives or the neighborhood, the first one to defend me with a sword was my sister. I have an amazing relationship with my sister, we actually raised each other. When I left, it was most difficult for me to leave my sister, because it is very difficult to be a woman in Georgia”.
Erekle’s public coming out was unintentional and unplanned when he was angry at homophobes.
“The first attempt to hold Pride was in Tbilisi. My friends and I barely survived and a journalist asked us for an interview. He was one, but since no one was commenting, then everyone came. I started talking, somehow I wanted to get it all out there for everyone to see. I came out in front of the whole of Georgia.
Relatives started calling my mother. Either he didn’t answer, or he went on the attack himself.”
This support of female family members left a big mark on Erekle’s life. He graduated from the university with literature studies, and in his fourth year he thought that it would be difficult to find a job in his profession, because people were too lazy to read the book, not the review written on it. He completed 2-year courses and began to study preschool education and special education, but he did not stop writing.
“I love children very much. There [in kindergarten and school] I was a completely different person, I forgot about all external problems, situations, problems of the country, my tragedies. I was happy there and I think I was a good teacher and loved by all the children. I wasn’t a “get up, tell me a poem” kind of teacher and cheered up life, because whatever stress I went through from the teachers, I didn’t show even a hundredth of that to the children.
He says that the students became a source of inspiration and he dedicated the book to them. Erekle has published a total of 3 books with a small circulation in Georgia, 2 of them are novels, and one is a fairy tale for children.
“It did not have a large circulation, narrow, so-called It was limited to the artistic circle, but I was very happy to turn my emotions into books. I wrote about my emotions, my grandmother, my mother, pains, sufferings, women… often women…
I don’t know, maybe it is thanks to my mother and strong women in my family that I am a feminist and I always felt the support of women”.
The Hardest, First Day of Emigration
“There were a lot of attacks” — this phrase I heard from almost every queer respondent. While the state and part of the society do not recognize that LGBTQ+ people are in danger, in Georgia they have to fight for their survival or leave the country in order to be saved.
“There was so much swearing that I can’t count. It was because of the image, the earring. There were shouts: “pederast”, “sinful”, “pervert”. This is an even milder form than when someone physically touches you.
I have been physically attacked many times, but I never thought about leaving because I had this fighting spirit. However, I was very tired last May. I had no hope.”
Erekle has been involved in activism for years, including volunteering in several organizations and taking part in numerous actions and protest performances.
“I was on the bus during the rally [May 17, 2013 raid]. I don’t know what power saved me and my friend. I was very scared because for the first time I realized that someone can cut your throat or stone you, as they do in Iran and Afghanistan. I have never felt such fear. That year, my mother died, and I had this feeling of insecurity.”
He received many threats when he helped artist Andro Dadiani to set up a meat shield near the Patriarchate.
“It was a performance against homophobia and pedophilia. That queer people and other people, regardless of orientation and gender, are perceived as meat in Georgia. If you die, someone will mutilate you, rape you, pretend it’s nothing. They blame you again.
We did the installation, it was covered by television, and 3 days have not passed that I have received more than a thousand messages, calls in the messenger that I will kill you, maim you. Then my photo was distributed by the homophobic group Alt-Info. I was a little scared, I couldn’t leave the house for the first week”.
Tamuna Gegidze / Aprili Media
As he says, along with the threats to take his life, the advice from the police to “be more manly” made him realize that he was not safe and had to make a difficult decision.
“It was very stressful for me to leave, because I really love Georgia. I want to see it one day… maybe I won’t see it the way I want, but at least it’s close so that you don’t have to be afraid to go out on the street. Don’t be afraid that someone will kill you. Don’t be afraid of being left without a job or a home.”
A difficult decision was followed by difficult processes, the most difficult of which was the first day of emigration, when he thought that his entire past life was erased.
Tamuna Gegidze / Aprili Media
“When I arrived, the first day when I was going to turn in as a refugee, I burst into tears. Why did I fight so hard to come this far and stand in this line? However, now I am glad that all this has passed”.
On this day, Erekle had other questions: What did he get an education for? What was he standing for? Why did he hope that something would change? Finding answers was difficult for him, but soon he found friends who followed him, gave him advice and made his daily life in exile easier. He took French courses, wants to learn the Dutch language and work with glass, began to perform as an actor and producer. Now he feels better, but still has a disadvantage.
“You miss water, food, even humor. Because they don’t understand my humor here, but I have a good sense of humor. When I tell something here, people are shocked, but I laugh a lot.”
Erekle, who is in another country without family and friends, received support from the displaced Georgian queers and is already trying to be the person who will help the newcomers.
So, What Is Propaganda?
Of course, we couldn’t ignore the Russian law, the political queerphobia and the homophobic bill, which fights non-existent “LGBT propaganda” and claims that it is possible to change the identity of minors with awareness of queer topics. We also talked about the false preconceptions that queer teachers can harm students. Erekle calls it vandalism and absurdity.
“If I have a child draw a rainbow, it doesn’t mean that I’m doing any propaganda!”
As an example, he cites the aggression and bullying of his hetero teachers towards the students and recalls the queers who work at the school and watch out for the students.
“It is absurd. It’s like “I’m digging a tunnel from Bombay to London” kind of absurd. It’s almost absurd, because propaganda… What is propaganda? I can’t understand. I can’t find a phrase or a word, what could be propaganda.
It turns out that the rainbow is a propaganda. I have a flag… I just want a flag maybe, I’m not gay or queer at all and I just want, I like the flag, or I support other people. It is complete nonsense and a distraction.
People have no education, no information and are really starving. The country is depleted due to emigration, there is pedophilia, hunger, femicide, and if people don’t talk about all this, they will bring up sensitive topics to divert attention. It does not serve anything more”.
Tamuna Gegidze / Aprili Media
He evaluates the Russian law as a mechanism of evil, which can make the country look like Russia or Iran and destroy our values and the European future. He says that the law will lead to an outflow of sane people, young people, and the number of immigrants will increase even more.
“This, of course, will affect the people, the future, and we will go back 60 years to the Soviet Union. It will be a great tragedy.”
After the interview, we had to go through a road where we encountered a lot of “propaganda” threatening the pre-election politics of the Georgian Dream: pictures, flags, emotions. At that time, hundreds of queers and straights were walking on Gay Street and taking photos of murals where 2 men or 2 women kiss each other and share their experiences of love. There was also a flag of LGBTQ+ pride flying, and a symbol supporting transgender people was visible on the second window. In this space, where freedom appeared in full variety, it was even more impossible to answer Erekle’s angry question: “What is propaganda?”.