Long Reads

“I Missed 10 Years of My Life as if I Was Asleep” — Child Marriage and Its Consequences

ნატალია ავალიანი / მედია აპრილი
ხატია ღოღობერიძე

“I was like an object in that house for 10 years. I had no right to express my opinion. I was a housewife, a servant, a wife, a mother, that was all I was. I couldn’t develop as a person,” — this is how Leluka Chkhaidze recalls the past period of her life.

She tells us that at the age of 16, she married a man 10 years older than her, whom she had been seeing for several months.

“I was at school, he had already graduated from university and was working, he was successful person. He told me he would support me, he would help me in every way possible with my studies at university, at work, he said that he valued education, but the reality turned out to be different. He helped me for the first year, when I was still going to school. Then problems started.”

She gave birth to her first child at the age of 18. At that time, she was already a student, working part-time to pay her tuition. At the same time, she had to deal with all the responsibilities that society and family impose on a woman.

“I had to wake up early in the morning, the house had to be tidy, the food had to be prepared, the laundry had to be washed and ironed, and I had to not complain about anything. But I took it as if it should be this way, I didn’t even realize that anything was wrong, I perceived it as a normal occurrence, that this is what a woman, wife, or daughter-in-law should do. I basically didn’t have childhood years and a period of being a student. There was no support from my husband and his family, it was the opposite. My mother-in-law had complaints — she didn’t like that I was working, that I couldn’t keep up with the housework, I couldn’t manage all of it,” recalls Leluka.

She was forced to drop out of school and work, which, in addition to interrupting her education and career growth, made her financially dependent on the man and his family. She recalls that she was almost always at home, and she had mental health problems. Added to this was the fact that it was a daily topic of discussion in the family, for example, whether she left the lights on in any room, because they had to pay for the utilities.

“There was no knowledge or support even after the baby was born, and I wouldn’t say I had a depressive background. Looking back now, I’m surprised how I did it all alone.”

She says that along with economic violence, there was also psychological violence, a gradual ban on communication with family members and friends. After 10 years, Leluka decided to get a divorce. She says that the support of her family played a decisive role in this process, because she could not go anywhere else with two children. Her parents supported her education and career growth. The support of her friends was also important, who explained to her that it was not right to give up everything and only consider the interests of her husband.

“If I had any desires, I could never do any of it. Whatever I thought about was completely insignificant, I was completely limited. I was so traumatized that I couldn’t do anything, I couldn’t even take care of my children properly. That’s why I was forced to take this step, a healthy mother must be with the children, and I was completely dependent on my mother-in-law and husband to sort this out, to get this done, etc.”

She separated from her husband at the beginning of last year. She now works as a manager in one of the supermarkets. She wants to return to her education and is confident that she will be able to do everything, “at least for the sake of her children.” As she says, it took her a long time to return to a normal life, and a year after the separation, she slowly began to open up to the outside world.

“Do you know how I was at first? Confused, as if I had missed 10 years of my life, as if I had been asleep all this time, I was cut off from the world, I had lost the feeling of what was happening in the outside world. I had a depressive period, I thought that my life was over, I could no longer keep up… When I went to a job interview and they asked me about my work experience, I couldn’t answer anything and thought that it was over… Then I also consulted a psychologist, my family members and friends supported me. Gradually, I returned to the usual rhythm of life.”

She says: if I had made the decision about marriage as an adult, I would have been much stronger and it would have radically changed my life.

“I would be stronger, more confident, and they wouldn’t be able to manipulate me, control me, and I wouldn’t get into toxic relationships. I often hear girls told that “you’ll be assigned an owner” and that it’s better if “your husband takes care of you”… This is nonsense. Everything can fall apart, ruin a person’s life. You have to give up your personal desires. Even if there is a situation where you are supported in education and career, you still have to give up on something, especially when a child appears. Family affairs, despite the fact that this is the 21st century and the world seems to have developed, are still a woman’s burden — at least 90% of people place all responsibility on women.”

Early/Child Marriage

Early/child marriage is a registered or unregistered union between two people, at least one of whom has not yet reached the age of majority, and is, a child. Such a marriage can be forced (for example, by a set-up) or with the immature consent of a minor (child). In any case, it is considered a violation of human rights in general and children’s rights in particular, since a child, due to his or her age, is not capable of giving informed consent to marriage.

According to practice, in cases of early/child marriage, the minor is most often a girl.

“Please protect me and girls like me from such violence and forced marriage, because we are also human beings and have the right to free choice. I am not an object that will be picked up and dragged away whenever they want and mocked for being able to speak out and defend myself,” — an excerpt from the interview protocol of a 15-year-old victim abducted from the yard of her own house (Special report of the Public Defender of Georgia and the Center for Democracy and Governance “Harmful Practice of Early/Child Marriage in Georgia — Current Challenges and Solutions” ).

According to the Convention on the Rights of the Child, a person under the age of 18 is a child. Georgian legislation also considers a person who has reached the age of 18 to be an adult. In addition, since 2017, registration of marriages of persons under the age of 18 has been prohibited and the marriageable age has been set at 18 years, without any exceptions. Accordingly, marriage with a person younger than this period is a crime. In addition, sexual intercourse with a child under the age of 16 is punishable by restriction or deprivation of liberty for a period of one to three years.

A 2022 special report by the Public Defender of Georgia and the Center for Democracy and Governance , which studies the harmful practices and challenges of early/childhood marriage, notes that despite setting the marriageable age at 18 and prohibiting marriage with a minor, the Criminal Code does not follow the spirit of change.

“The current definition of forced marriage is based on the assumption that a minor can freely and voluntarily consent to marriage and is not considered a crime as long as no physical or psychological coercion is used against the child. Such an approach places the child at risk of exploitation and precludes effective protection through criminal justice mechanisms,” the document reads.

According to the same report, this article should be regulated in accordance with international standards in relation to minors, because a child, especially a minor under the age of 16, cannot freely and voluntarily consent to marriage with an adult.

According to a publication by the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA), early/child marriage affects boys and girls differently, and it has much more severe consequences for girls — negatively affecting their health and later development.

“When I grow up, I will be very strong and protect my sister so that no one takes her away and beats her. When she was taken away by force yesterday, I was very scared and very sorry that I could not help her,” — an excerpt from the testimony of the 7-year-old brother of an abducted minor, who witnessed the illegal deprivation of his sister’s freedom (Special report of the Public Defender of Georgia and the Center for Democracy and Governance “Harmful Practice of Early/Child Marriage in Georgia — Current Challenges and Ways to Solve It”) .

Problems caused by early/childhood marriage include:

  • Oppression and domestic violence: Adolescent girls who marry at an early/childhood age usually live with their husband’s parents and are often burdened with disproportionately heavy responsibilities for their age, such as caring for family members (sick family members, children, the elderly, etc.), cooking, and taking care of the home (cleaning the house, washing clothes, etc.). In addition, they are at increased risk of domestic violence and sexual harassment. The main types of domestic violence are: physical violence (beating, harm to health, actions that cause physical pain and suffering), psychological violence (insults, blackmail, humiliation), economic violence, coercion, and sexual violence;
  • Pregnancy during adolescence: The experience of girls who marry at an early/childhood age shows that they are under a kind of pressure to have a child as soon as possible in order to live up to the expectations of society or family. Pregnancy during adolescence poses a threat to health and life, because the child’s body is not ready for pregnancy and childbirth, and the risk of pregnancy and childbirth complications is high. Due to the immaturity of the body, adolescent girls are often prone to premature birth, childbirth trauma and infections, which can later become a cause of their illness. In addition, pregnancy and motherhood during adolescence are especially difficult, because children find it difficult to take care of their child and their own health;
  • Barriers to education: Early/child marriage is one of the main reasons why girls drop out of school. After marriage or engagement, girls often stop attending school because they are usually burdened with household chores. In Georgia, most women who marry before the age of 18 are unable to complete secondary or higher education. Inadequate education hinders girls’ development, limits their choices, and deprives them of the opportunity to earn a living;
  • Unregistered unions: A person under the age of 16 cannot officially register a marriage. Therefore, unregistered early/childhood marriage leaves girls outside legal regulations and without a number of social guarantees. For example, in an unregistered union, a woman’s property rights are not protected and, in the event of divorce, she cannot claim a share of the property acquired during cohabitation.

Statistics and Practice

The Public Defender’s annual reports on the state of human rights and freedoms in Georgia also include data on early/childhood marriage. According to documents from different years, the statistics are as follows:

  • The LEPL State Care and Assistance Agency for Victims of Trafficking and Victims of Abuse studied 129 cases of early marriage in 2021. The Ministry of Internal Affairs launched an investigation into 101 alleged crimes, the motive of which was child marriage.
    According to the Ministry of Education, 36 minors dropped out of school due to marriage.
  • In 2022, 815 underage pregnancies were registered, and the number of underage births was 434. The Ministry of Internal Affairs has launched an investigation into 171 cases of possible early marriage.
  • In 2023, 679 minors were registered as pregnant, and 409 people were registered as minor parents. The Ministry of Internal Affairs launched an investigation into 152 possible crimes committed under the pretext of marriage with a minor. According to the Prosecutor’s Office, 73 children were recognized as victims of crimes committed under the pretext of marriage with a minor, and criminal prosecution was initiated against 84 people. In 2023, 38 minors dropped out of school under the pretext of marriage .
  • In 2024 , 427 pregnant minors were registered, and 365 people were registered as minor parents. The Ministry of Internal Affairs launched an investigation into 184 possible crimes committed under the pretext of marriage with a minor, and 74 restraining orders were issued. According to the Prosecutor’s Office, 50 children were recognized as victims of crimes committed under the pretext of marriage with a minor, and criminal prosecution was initiated against 45 people. 43 students (38 girls and 5 boys) had their student status terminated or suspended due to marriage;

The 2024 document also notes that statistics on dropouts may not reflect the real picture, as the grounds for dropping out are inaccurately stated. According to the report, the termination of student status based on a “parental declaration” is particularly problematic, as in some cases the motive behind it is child marriage.

“I was 16 when I got married. I didn’t agree, but my parents wanted me to. I didn’t love him, I didn’t have any feelings, I didn’t even think about marriage. I thought I would get married and that was it, that was the end of my life. I wanted to study. I couldn’t study because of my parents. They thought I had to get married and there was no need for me to study,” — a woman in early marriage (Source: Early/Childhood Marriage in Georgia: An Overview, UNFPA ).

According to a 2022 joint report by the Public Defender of Georgia and the Center for Democracy and Governance, existing statistics on early/childhood marriage, including the identities of reporting subjects, indicate that information is mainly provided to law enforcement agencies when a minor girl applies to a medical institution due to pregnancy or childbirth.

The report also states that although the law prohibits the registration of marriages with persons under 18 years of age, and this has had a positive impact on reducing such cases, unregistered marriages with minors, i.e. the beginning of de facto cohabitation, are common, which often occurs through criminal means.

According to the document, the study of criminal case materials, qualitative research and analysis of cases under the Public Defender’s jurisdiction showed that the investigation of early/childhood marriage is mostly initiated immediately, without delay. In addition, the report states that the quality of investigation of criminal cases under the jurisdiction of the Main Department for Juvenile Affairs is high compared to similar cases under the jurisdiction of other police departments.

“When a girl is born, they keep telling her: you have to get married, learn to cook, sew, wash dishes; and no one tells her to write or read a book,” — a woman in early marriage (Source: Early/Childhood Marriage in Georgia: An Overview, UNFPA ).

However, the document addresses a number of problems, such as:

  • Effective and efficient coordination between educational institutions, the State Welfare Agency, and the Ministry of Internal Affairs, as well as the proper functioning of referral procedures, remain problematic;
  • The identification and referral of cases of child marriage remains a problem. Cases of failure or inadequate fulfillment of obligations imposed by law by entities responsible for referrals have been identified;
  • Relevant specialists, especially teachers, lack adequate information and knowledge about indicators of child marriage, referral procedures, and obligations;
  • A study of cases pending before the Public Defender shows that in cases of possible engagement of minors, agencies are often unable to identify the alleged forced marriage;
  • The questions asked by the investigator to the minor victim are often formulaic and not formulated in a language understandable to the child. Also, the practice of asking discriminatory, irrelevant and stereotypical questions was revealed;
  • In cases where vaginal intercourse with a minor occurred, the decisive role in the process of collecting evidence was mostly played by the conclusion of a forensic medical examination appointed to determine the integrity of the so-called hymen, while the fact of vaginal intercourse with a minor can be established by other evidence, without examining the so-called hymen, which is not discriminatory and traumatic.

As for the investigation and the punishment imposed on the defendants, according to the document, plea agreements were signed in most cases. In particular, out of 39 cases, plea agreements were signed in 29 cases (74%) — “The practice of signing plea agreements is especially high in the crimes of sexual intercourse by an adult with a person under the age of 16 and illegal deprivation of liberty.”

“I want attitudes in the village to change so that girls will not be asked when they will be married and they would not be kidnapped from their school desks,” — an excerpt from the testimony of a minor victim (Special report by the Public Defender of Georgia and the Center for Democracy and Governance “Harmful Practice of Early/Childhood Marriage in Georgia — Current Challenges and Solutions”) .

The report also indicates that conditional sentences are mostly used against offenders and the rate of imprisonment as a punishment is low.

“The verdicts passed by the court are mostly formulaic and superficial, especially where a plea agreement has been signed. There is very little discussion of the factual circumstances and evidence, and the type and extent of the punishment applied to the perpetrators is also poorly substantiated; the emphasis is mainly on the issue of compliance with procedural norms, and not on the substantive aspects of the case and their compliance with the legislation.”

The document also discusses several specific examples. Among them, it cites one case in which an investigation was initiated based on a complaint by the mother of a minor girl, regarding the possible psychological violence against her child by the husband’s mother. During the investigation, it was revealed that the 15-year-old minor was in a de facto cohabitation, which should have been known to two doctors at the hospital – gynecologists, who did not report this to law enforcement agencies.

“According to the victim, the gynecologists even advised her on how to protect herself from pregnancy, since she was 15 years old and would have difficulty giving birth. During the interview, the doctors explained that the victim had come to them due to a disturbance in menstrual cycle and they were unaware that she might have had sexual intercourse.”

In addition, the document talks about another case, which involved an adult having sexual intercourse with a minor under the age of 16 for the purpose of marriage. According to the report, the minor’s mother was present during the interrogation, and she herself facilitated her child’s early marriage.

The study also states that rape cases are particularly problematic and flawed. In particular, according to the document, in 4 of the 39 cases studied, along with other crimes, the person was accused of rape or attempted rape. However, in 2 cases, the judge reclassified the rape charge to a sexual crime committed with the consent of the victim, and in one case, he acquitted the person of rape. The judge found the person guilty only of attempted rape.

The document states that in all cases in which the qualification of a sexual crime committed with consent was changed or a person was acquitted of rape, the judge develops a stereotypical reasoning about the necessity of physical resistance on the part of the victim, which, in his opinion, was not confirmed by the evidence obtained or the main conclusions are based on the so-called hymen examination or an incorrect assessment of the conclusion of the psychological examination.

“Early marriage really hindered me from forming my own opinion. I was a very good student in school, but when I got married, I couldn’t continue my studies. After college, I couldn’t work, my husband wouldn’t let me, he didn’t need me to work. There was no economic need for me to work. It made me very dependent, absolutely helpless,” — a woman in early marriage (Source: Early/Childhood Marriage in Georgia: An Overview, UNFPA .

“For example, in one of the cases, the minor victim stated that after being kidnapped, she was taken to a person’s house, where she was met by strange women. According to the victim, she screamed for help from these women, but they refused and left her alone in a room with the accused. As is clear from the case materials, the accused forcibly removed the minor’s clothes on the bed in the room and raped her. The minor was in this house for two and a half days, she wanted to escape, but was unable to,” the document states, and it is indicated that, according to the judge’s assessment in this case, sexual intercourse with the minor was established with her consent and, in his opinion, she was not in a helpless position, “at a time when the same judge considered it confirmed that the girl’s freedom was illegally deprived.”

According to the report, the court explained that there must be actual resistance on the part of the victim and it must be clear from her actions that she does not want to have consensual sexual intercourse. It also considered that if the victim did resist, the defendant must have suffered certain injuries that he did not notice.

“It was completely irrelevant and stereotypical for the judge to focus on the victim’s physical resistance, instead of developing a discussion on the victim’s degree of free will and his helpless condition, which excluded the minor’s genuine and free consent to the sexual act,” the document reads.

Many other experts and studies emphasize the need to enforce laws prohibiting child marriage and support girls who are already married.

“Girls who are protected from the harmful effects of child marriage are more likely to stay in school longer, become pregnant later, have healthier children, acquire life skills, and earn higher incomes, contributing not only to their own well-being, but also to the well-being of their families and communities,” UNFPA notes.

Early/child marriage is a crime. If you are a minor and are being forced into marriage or have information about violence against another minor, you can contact the police or call various organizations.

This material has been prepared within the framework of the UN Joint Programme for Gender Equality with financial support from Sweden. Its contents are the sole responsibility of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Sweden and the United Nations Population Fund.

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